In Part 1, we explored why the transition to school places such high demands on children’s executive functioning skills. We discussed how planning, remembering, emotional regulation and flexible thinking are challenged every day, often leaving children mentally exhausted by the time they arrive home.
In this second part, we’ll explore how everyday family routines can become some of the most powerful opportunities for building executive functioning—and why small changes in how we support children can make a big difference.
Organisation Begins Long Before Homework
When we think about organisation, it’s easy to picture a tidy desk, a colour-coded homework diary or a neatly packed school bag. For young children, however, organisation starts much earlier and looks very different. Organisation is learning to put shoes in the same place every day. It’s remembering that the library book goes back into the school bag after reading. It’s noticing that the drink bottle belongs beside the lunchbox. It’s understanding that some jobs need to happen before others.
These may seem like small skills, but together they lay the foundation for the more complex organisational demands that come later in school and adulthood.
As occupational therapists, we often remind parents that organisation is learned through doing, not simply through being told what to do. Children become organised by repeatedly participating in organised routines.
The OT Lens
It is often quicker—and far less stressful—to pack your child’s school bag yourself. But every time children are actively involved in this routine, they are practising planning, sequencing, remembering and responsibility.
Rather than asking:
“Have you packed your bag?”
Try packing it with your child. Gradually reduce your support over time.
Our goal isn’t a perfectly packed school bag today. Our goal is an adult who can organise themselves in years to come.
Task Initiation: The Skill We Often Mistake for Motivation
One of the most misunderstood executive functions is task initiation—the ability to get started.
Parents often tell us,
“I know they can do it once they begin. I just can’t get them to start.”
This isn’t uncommon.
Starting a task requires children to organise their thoughts, decide where to begin, manage any worries they may have, and overcome the temptation to do something more enjoyable instead. For some children, especially those with ADHD, autism, anxiety or executive functioning difficulties, getting started is one of the hardest parts of any activity. This isn’t laziness. It isn’t defiance. Often, it’s a sign that the brain is finding it difficult to organise the first step.
Try This At Home
Instead of saying:
“Go and do your homework.”
Try breaking the task into smaller, achievable steps:
“Let’s get your homework book.”
“Now find a pencil.”
“Which question would you like to start with?”
Once children have started, they often find it much easier to keep going.
Emotional Regulation and Executive Functions Go Hand in Hand
It is impossible to talk about executive functioning without talking about emotional regulation. When children feel overwhelmed, frustrated or anxious, the brain naturally prioritises managing those emotions over higher-level thinking skills.
Think about how difficult it is for adults to stay organised or solve problems when they are stressed. Children experience exactly the same challenge, but with brains that are still developing. This is why a child who usually remembers every step of the morning routine may suddenly forget everything after a poor night’s sleep or a difficult day at school.
Stress temporarily reduces access to executive functioning. It doesn’t mean the skills have disappeared.
The OT Lens
One of the most valuable questions we can ask is:
“Is this a can’t, or is it a can’t yet?”
Sometimes children genuinely know what to do but cannot access the skills in that moment because they are overwhelmed, tired, hungry or dysregulated. Supporting regulation first often allows executive functioning to return.
Everyday Occupations That Strengthen Executive Function
One of the greatest strengths of occupational therapy is recognising that children learn best through meaningful participation in everyday life. Executive functions don’t develop during isolated “brain training” exercises, they develop while children take part in occupations that matter to them.
Morning Routines
Encourage children to complete familiar routines in the same sequence each day. Visual schedules, picture checklists or simple written reminders can help children begin taking ownership of these tasks.
Helping Around the House
Simple household jobs such as feeding the pet, matching socks, watering plants or setting the table all require planning, sequencing and remembering. Children also develop confidence by contributing to family life.
Board Games
Games continue to be one of the richest ways to build executive functioning.
Children practise:
- Waiting
- Planning ahead
- Remembering rules
- Coping with disappointment
- Adapting strategies
- Thinking flexibly
Perhaps most importantly, they learn that mistakes are part of learning.
Cooking Together
Preparing a simple meal or baking together strengthens planning, sequencing, working memory, attention and problem-solving. It also encourages independence and family connection.
Common Myths About Executive Functions
As occupational therapists, we often hear comments like:
“They’re just lazy.”
“They’d do it if they really wanted to.”
“They know what to do—they just choose not to.”
In reality, executive functioning difficulties are rarely about motivation alone. Children generally want to succeed. When they repeatedly struggle with organisation, remembering, planning or completing tasks, it is far more helpful to become curious than critical.
Instead of asking:
“Why won’t they?”
Try asking:
“What is making this difficult?”
That simple shift in perspective often changes the entire conversation.
When Should You Seek Support?
Every child occasionally forgets homework, loses their water bottle or struggles to begin a task. These experiences are part of normal development. However, it may be helpful to speak with an occupational therapist if executive functioning difficulties are consistently affecting your child’s participation at home, at school or in the community.
Signs may include:
- Frequent difficulty following routines despite repeated practice
- Becoming overwhelmed by everyday tasks
- Significant frustration when planning or organising activities
- Difficulty starting or completing age-appropriate tasks
- Emotional outbursts that interfere with daily participation
- Ongoing challenges with independence compared with peers
Early support focuses on understanding the child’s strengths and challenges while developing practical strategies that fit naturally into everyday family life.
Key Take-Home Messages
The early school years bring exciting opportunities—but they also bring increasing expectations for executive functioning. Children are learning far more than reading and maths. They are learning to organise themselves, regulate emotions, solve problems, plan ahead and become increasingly independent.
These skills take years to develop. They grow through meaningful occupations, supportive relationships and repeated opportunities to practise—not through pressure or perfection.
As parents, one of the greatest gifts we can offer is the time and space for children to participate in everyday life. Packing a school bag. Helping prepare dinner. Remembering library books. Playing board games. Tidying toys. Working through small frustrations together. These ordinary moments are where extraordinary learning happens.
Parent Reflection
At the end of today, ask yourself:
“What is one everyday task I could do with my child this week instead of for them?”
It might take a little longer. It might be a little messier. But those extra few minutes are often where confidence, independence and executive functioning begin to grow.
Remember…
Executive functions are not built overnight. They are built one routine, one challenge, one problem solved and one encouraging conversation at a time.
As occupational therapists, we know that every meaningful occupation is an opportunity for learning. When children are given the right level of support, the chance to participate, and the confidence to make mistakes, they aren’t simply completing everyday tasks—they’re building the lifelong skills they’ll need to navigate school, relationships, work and independent living.
The goal isn’t to raise children who never forget, never struggle or never become frustrated. The goal is to raise children who gradually learn to think, plan, adapt and believe in their own ability to solve life’s everyday challenges. And that journey starts long before perfect homework or perfectly packed school bags. It starts in the ordinary moments of family life, where children feel safe to learn, practise and grow.
Evidence – Informed Practice
This article has been written from an occupational therapy perspective and is informed by current developmental neuroscience, occupational therapy theory, and peer-reviewed research. The following references provide further reading for parents, educators and health professionals who wish to explore this topic in more depth.
References
American Occupational Therapy Association. (2020). Occupational therapy practice framework: Domain and process (4th ed.). American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 74(Supplement_2), 7412410010. https://doi.org/10.5014/ajot.2020.74S2001
Ashburner, J., Ziviani, J., & Rodger, S. (2008). Sensory processing and classroom emotional, behavioural, and educational outcomes in children with autism spectrum disorder. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 62(5), 564–573. https://doi.org/10.5014/ajot.62.5.564
Best, J. R., & Miller, P. H. (2010). A developmental perspective on executive function. Child Development, 81(6), 1641–1660. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2010.01499.x
Blair, C., & Raver, C. C. (2015). School readiness and self-regulation: A developmental psychobiological approach. Annual Review of Psychology, 66, 711–731. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010814-015221
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2011). Building the Brain’s “Air Traffic Control” System: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function. Harvard University.
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2016). From Best Practices to Breakthrough Impacts: A Science-Based Approach to Building a More Promising Future for Young Children and Families. Harvard University.
Dawson, P., & Guare, R. (2018). Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents: A Practical Guide to Assessment and Intervention (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64, 135–168. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-113011-143750
Diamond, A., & Lee, K. (2011). Interventions shown to aid executive function development in children 4 to 12 years old. Science, 333(6045), 959–964. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1204529
Law, M., Cooper, B., Strong, S., Stewart, D., Rigby, P., & Letts, L. (1996). The Person–Environment–Occupation Model: A transactive approach to occupational performance. Canadian Journal of Occupational Therapy, 63(1), 9–23. https://doi.org/10.1177/000841749606300103
Missiuna, C., Pollock, N., Levac, D., Campbell, W., Whalen, S., Bennett, S., Hecimovich, C., Gaines, R., Cairney, J., & Russell, D. (2011). Partnering for change: An innovative school-based occupational therapy service delivery model for children with developmental coordination disorder. Canadian Journal of Occupational Therapy, 78(1), 41–50. https://doi.org/10.2182/cjot.2011.78.1.6
Shonkoff, J. P., & Phillips, D. A. (Eds.). (2000). From Neurons to Neighborhoods: The Science of Early Childhood Development. National Academies Press.
World Federation of Occupational Therapists. (2019). Position Statement: Occupational Therapy with Children and Youth.
Zelazo, P. D. (2015). Executive function: Reflection, iterative reprocessing, complexity, and the developing brain. Developmental Review, 38, 55–68. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2015.07.001
by Nicola Van Zyl