In Part 1, we explored two of the three core executive functions—working memory and inhibitory control—and discussed why these skills develop gradually through supportive relationships rather than through pressure or punishment.
In this second part, we’ll look at the final building block, how everyday activities naturally strengthen executive functioning, and when it may be helpful to seek additional support.
The Third Building Block: Cognitive Flexibility
Imagine you’ve promised your child a trip to the playground, but it suddenly starts raining. Your toddler bursts into tears. Your preschooler insists that “the plan was the playground!”
Or perhaps you’ve cut their sandwich into squares instead of triangles.
These situations can feel like overreactions to adults, but they provide a wonderful example of cognitive flexibility—the ability to adapt when plans change, think about situations in different ways, or try a new approach when the first one doesn’t work.
For young children, flexibility is hard. Their brains thrive on routine and predictability because these make the world feel safe and manageable. Learning to cope with change takes time, repeated experiences, and supportive adults.
Children use cognitive flexibility when they:
- Change the rules during imaginative play
- Find another way to build a tower that keeps falling down
- Accept a different bedtime story
- Move from one activity to another
- Understand that someone else might think differently from them
- Solve everyday problems
Importantly, flexibility doesn’t develop by forcing children into uncomfortable situations. Instead, it develops when children experience small, manageable changes within the safety of trusting relationships.
OT Tip
Children who experience sensory differences, autism, ADHD, anxiety or developmental differences often find flexibility especially challenging.
Rather than assuming a child is being “rigid” or “difficult,” occupational therapists ask:
“What is making this change feel so overwhelming?”
Sometimes the answer lies in sensory processing, uncertainty, communication, emotional regulation or simply a brain that needs more time to adapt. Understanding the “why” behind behaviour helps us provide support that is compassionate, effective and respectful.
Executive Functions Grow Through Everyday Occupations
One of the most rewarding aspects of occupational therapy is helping families realise that they don’t need expensive toys or structured “brain training” programmes to support executive function. The very activities children naturally enjoy are often the most powerful opportunities for learning.
Getting Dressed
When your preschooler chooses clothes, remembers the order of dressing, notices that their jumper is back to front and fixes it independently, they are using:
- Working memory
- Planning
- Sequencing
- Problem-solving
- Cognitive flexibility
- Frustration tolerance
It may take longer than dressing them yourself but giving children opportunities to participate is helping them build skills for life.
Helping in the Kitchen
Cooking together is one of the richest executive function activities available.
Children learn to:
- Remember ingredients
- Follow a sequence
- Wait for turns
- Solve problems
- Adapt when mistakes happen
- Sustain attention
Even toddlers can help wash vegetables, stir mixtures or carry ingredients. These everyday jobs build confidence as well as cognitive skills.
Imaginative Play
When children pretend to run a café, become superheroes or look after sick teddies, they are constantly practising executive functioning. They remember roles, negotiate rules, switch between ideas, solve problems and control impulses.
Research consistently shows that imaginative play supports self-regulation, language, social development and executive functioning (Diamond & Lee, 2011).
Outdoor Play
Climbing, balancing, digging, collecting sticks and creating obstacle courses all require planning, judgement and flexible thinking. Outdoor play also provides valuable sensory experiences that support emotional regulation. A child who is better regulated is often better able to access their executive functioning skills.
Story Time
Reading together is far more than developing literacy.
Asking simple questions such as:
- “What do you think will happen next?”
- “Why is the bear feeling sad?”
- “Can you remember what happened at the beginning?”
Helps strengthen working memory, flexible thinking and perspective taking. Children learn that stories—and people—can have different viewpoints and different endings.
Tidying Up
Many parents dread asking children to tidy. Yet tidying is a wonderful executive function activity.
Children practise:
- Planning
- Sorting
- Categorising
- Sequencing
- Sustained attention
- Task completion
Rather than expecting a young child to tidy an entire room, try breaking the task into manageable steps:
“Let’s put all the books away first.”
Then:
“Now let’s find the cars.”
Small successes build confidence.
“But my child can’t do these things…”
This is one of the most common concerns we hear in the practice. Parents often compare their child with siblings or friends and wonder if something is wrong. It’s important to remember that executive functions develop at different rates for every child. Some children naturally need more support.
Others may have additional differences that affect executive functioning, including:
- Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
- Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)
- Developmental Language Disorder (DLD)
- Sensory processing differences
- Anxiety
- Learning differences
Having executive function difficulties does not mean a child is lazy, naughty or unmotivated. Often, it simply means their brain needs more support, more opportunities to practise, or strategies that better match the way they learn.
What Can Parents Do?
The most powerful thing parents can do is surprisingly simple. Be involved. Play together. Slow down. Allow children to participate in everyday life. Offer just enough help to allow success, then gradually step back as confidence grows. Occupational therapists sometimes describe this as providing the “just-right challenge.”
Too much help prevents learning. Too little help leads to frustration. Finding the balance allows children to stretch their abilities while still feeling successful. Remember, your child doesn’t need to perform perfectly. They simply need repeated opportunities to practise.
OT Tips You can Try This Week
✔ Let your child help pack their nursery bag.
✔ Give simple two-step instructions.
✔ Play games like Simon Says or Red Light, Green Light.
✔ Read together and ask, “what might happen next?”
✔ Encourage pretend play without directing every detail.
✔ Let children solve small problems before stepping in.
✔ Celebrate effort rather than perfection.
✔ Build predictable routines while gently introducing small changes.
✔ Use visual schedules if remembering routines is difficult.
✔ Remember that regulation comes before learning.
When Should You Seek Support?
All young children forget instructions, struggle with waiting and become upset when plans change. These are normal parts of development.
However, it may be helpful to speak with an occupational therapist if your child consistently struggles to participate in everyday activities because of difficulties with:
- Following simple routines
- Transitioning between activities
- Managing frustration
- Sustaining attention during play
- Planning age-appropriate tasks
- Adapting to change
- Emotional regulation
- Independence in self-care
Early support doesn’t mean something is “wrong.” Instead, it provides children—and families—with strategies that make everyday life easier while supporting healthy development.
Key Take-Home Messages
Executive functions are not something children suddenly develop when they start school. They begin developing from infancy through warm relationships, meaningful occupations and everyday experiences. As parents, you don’t need to create complicated learning activities.
You are already building executive functions every time you:
- Read together
- Play together
- Cook together
- Tidy together
- Solve problems together
- Support your child through life’s inevitable frustrations
Every pause before grabbing a toy. Every attempt at putting on shoes. Every game of hide-and-seek. Every tower rebuilt after it falls. These moments are doing far more than filling time. They are building the brain.
And perhaps the most reassuring message of all is this:
Children do not develop executive functions alone.
They develop them alongside caring adults who patiently lend them the skills they are still learning to build for themselves. As occupational therapists, that is exactly what we strive to do—and what we empower parents to do every day.
References
American Occupational Therapy Association. (2020). Occupational Therapy Practice Framework: Domain and Process (4th ed.). American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 74(Suppl. 2), 7412410010.
Best, J. R., & Miller, P. H. (2010). A developmental perspective on executive function. Child Development, 81(6), 1641–1660.
Centre on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2011). Building the Brain’s “Air Traffic Control” System: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function.
Centre on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2016). From Best Practices to Breakthrough Impacts.
Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64, 135–168.
Diamond, A., & Lee, K. (2011). Interventions shown to aid executive function development in children 4–12 years old. Science, 333(6045), 959–964.
Dawson, P., & Guare, R. (2018). Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Zelazo, P. D. (2015). Executive function: Reflection, iterative reprocessing and development. Developmental Review, 38, 55–68.
World Federation of Occupational Therapists. (2019). Position Statement: Occupational Therapy with Children and Youth.
by Nicola Van Zyl