A child who believes in himself and has developed a degree of self-reliance is more likely to be able to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties, achieve his full potential and enter into and sustain meaningful relationships.
However, a child who remains dependent on external sources for the maintenance of self-esteem will find misfortunes much more difficult to handle and will invariably use another’s actions and reactions to define himself.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is about feeling lovable and feeling competent. Some children appear to place little value on their abilities and often deny their successes. They find it difficult to set goals and problem solve. Many give up trying and consequently perform below their academic and social capabilities. Their self-limiting beliefs become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Their thoughts, attitudes, emotions, behaviours, motivation, interest, participation and expectations of the future will be significantly influenced by their level of self-esteem.
Children with appropriate self-esteem:
- Are less likely to experience self-doubt, fear and ambivalence.
- Have a greater capacity to be creative.
- Are more likely to assume active roles in social groups.
- Are more likely to move realistically towards personal goals.
Building a healthy self-esteem
There is much that can be done to help children to build and maintain a healthy self-esteem in the face of life’s many challenges. Adults play a vital role in this and their communication with children needs to be clear, unambiguous, non-judgmental and unconditional. We need to show that we respect their opinions, value their participation, and believe they have a significant role to play and that we are interested in them as individuals. We need to encourage them to recognize their successes, allow them to work at their own level, set realistic goals and self evaluate successfully.
If a child is prepared to accept his own strengths and limitations, then he is likely to accept responsibility for developing and learning. He will try to improve on, and manage, his limitations, believing that he is solely responsible for the changes within himself.
If a child has low self-esteem, a hundred people can tell them that he has done well, but he will believe the one who says he needs to do better.
by Sylvia Milford